It’s been almost a year since you left us, and once again I find myself unable to sleep, going through old pictures. I think about you every day and try to smile. Sometimes it’s easy; I just think about one of the million stupid jokes we had. Sometimes it’s not. Knowing you’re no longer a phone call away, just for a laugh, breaks my heart.
Every time I see someone vaguely resembling a celebrity I still say to myself, “look there goes Nicholas Cage’s brother, Rick Cage,” and it’s always in your voice, followed up by your distinct chuckle, the worse the doppelganger the better. I can’t watch the credits in a movie theater roll up without thinking about saying every strange name, out loud, in a pirate voice. I resist the urge to do it out loud now, unless it’s a really good one.
I think of how we all used to quote Friends for hours. Now, when I watch it, I can swear that they were our jokes first. I’ll be in an everyday conversation when an obscure quote will come out of me in response. I quickly scold myself knowing you’d be one of the few to actually get that; before I go into my explanation, “It was the one where Joey…”
A lot is going on right now. I can’t escape the growing chatter of the upcoming election. It seems like everyone is willing the share their opinions, and the only political commentary I want to hear is from you, because I know it would end up with you getting all fired up, doing your Bush impression, and me laughing uncontrollably on the floor.
It’s been almost a year since you left us, and it feels like a lifetime. So many moments missed and times it would have been nice to hear your voice. You would always be there for me if I needed a friend and you still make me laugh out loud, even if it does creep out the other people in line at Starbucks. I hope someday we can laugh again together about nothing, but until then know that you are greatly missed.
[…]whose deed follows his word; who thinks of the rights and feelings of others, rather than his own; and who appears well in any company, a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.
The True Gentleman – John Walter Wayland