All I Want Are Some Effing Peanuts

As I settle into what will be my compact personal space for the next four hours, few things bring me comfort; my headphones, a ginger ale and two small, foil-plastic baggies a quarter full of salty goodness.  Three very simple things which aid me in overlooking the aforementioned diminishing personal space, lack of overhead storage, and the 6 foot 3 gentleman behind me who I could only assume is using my seat as a jungle-gym.  These three things can pacify my travel Hyde from emerging so early in my vacation.  But wait, my options, after my ginger ale is handed to me in my sippie cup, are pretzels or cookies?

So, I didn’t misunderstand the rider tacked on to the end of the overpriced boxed lunch announcement.  My favorite snack will not be offered on this flight because someone has stated that they have a peanut allergy.  Even if I were smart enough to bring my own peanuts onboard, I would not be allowed to open the container.  Thank god no one has an oxygen allergy! It’s like if I, with my lactose intolerance, went to dairy queen and for the remainder of my stay no one could have anything with milk in it.

“But the peanut dust…” eff you!  People with peanut allergies have survived for centuries by, and this may come as a shock to you, not eating peanuts, following personal dietary guidelines, and reading labels.  I’m not saying walk into the Planters factory and take a deep breath, although I wish the selfish asshole who checked the special diet box on expedia.com when he booked this flight would.

This is evidence that as a society we are slowly crumbling.  To cater to the minority just because they make the most noise is a weak position to take.  Because of this, the list of funny, descriptive words we can’t say on TV gets longer,  violent action sequences are cut shorter, and I can no longer buy beer at college football games.  The actions of few affect the many.  I know this will always be true, but we’re Americans, toughen up.  Let’s be a little more accountable for our actions and how they affect others, and give me my damn peanuts.

*Note: On the return flight I was allowed to order peanuts, and I did.  One of the bags was half full of salt and exploded all over me and the guy sleeping next to me.  I decided to let the other bag stay sealed.  I guess I should just stick with pretzels…sigh

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